Assumptions Are Your Enemy

Dated: October 2 2020

Views: 179

It’s all great getting people to pay attention, but it is possible for people to remember you and still decide that you aren’t worth their time. This happens all of the time. Here are a few reasons why people do this.


-You come across as negative: There is nothing wrong with seeing the glass as half full. Negative perspectives can give a healthy dose of reality. Also, some people just aren’t wired to be perky (Thank God.) Other times people go through hard stuff in their lives. It’s okay. Never get into the habit of pretending that you ARE perky and nothing is wrong. It will eat you up inside.


To the outsider, though, this is screaming that you are in the middle of big problems in your life. People will avoid you, not because you are raining on their parade. They do it because it isn’t their fight and it’s none of their business.


To help you with this, practice gratitude. Think of at least one thing you are thankful for, every day, and go into detail why you are thankful for it. This is for you as much as it is for others as it will give you hope and strength and joy that will spill out even through a negative view of the world.


-You don’t have good hygiene: People won’t notice you, they will notice the neglect. You don’t want to be competing with bad breath, plaque on your teeth, dandruff, body odor, and wafts of dog hair on your clothes. To someone just meeting you, this screams to them “I don’t care!” (Unfortunately, quite a few people toss weight or health or even glasses in as well.)  But you DO care, you are networking. So, you need to change this visual message to match your intent.

-You have negative body language: crossing your arms, frowning, checking the time, being glued to your phone, slouching, hunching your shoulders. These all communicate that you don’t want to be there. People assume that this is caused by a reason and don’t want to get in the middle.

Smile more

Someone I knew tried this, he kept his face in a slight smile whenever he was in a neutral state. After 30 days of consistency, you don’t even notice you are doing it. It radically changed how people interacted with him. So many body language problems are simply habit.


It comes down to this. Assumptions are your enemy in networking, but people are not. Don’t get into the habit of disliking people for making assumptions even if they are unfair. Many times, these assumptions are buried in their subconscious. Once you get them talking, these impulses will be washed away. But that’s the key... once they start talking.

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Alison Stopani

Alison Stopani Hi! I am native of Colorado Springs and for as long as I can remember, I have always loved real estate. I have a passion for people. I'm excited to help both Sellers and Buyers with th....

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